tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202158859035310152024-03-13T03:32:11.081-07:00ThisA blog about thatWilliainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-18448205165237060092016-08-06T11:51:00.005-07:002016-08-06T15:00:28.752-07:00IFAQ: Ignorant or Ignoraunt?<i><br />It's time for another Infrequently Asked Questions from www.williant.com. </i><br />
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<i>As per often, two different people have been brought in here. Unlike that last one, in March, these two aren't very famous. They are just your regular random folk: An Ant, from an ant hill, and an Aunt, from a Beauty Parlour. Hosted by the Questioner, who is definitely not a burglar, as he mentioned earlier.</i></div>
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<b>QUESTIONER:</b> I'd like to hear about you, two. Since I've just brought you in a few hours ago. What are your favourite hobbies?</div>
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<b>AUNT: </b>Gossip at the local barber shop, or at the market.</div>
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<b>ANT: </b>Collecting food for the queen. HAIL THE QUEEN!</div>
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<b>Questioner:</b> How much can you carry?<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> Well, I heard Hattie Smith can carry about 30 times her own weight, and she's overweight (I hear her husband feeds her bacon for <i>every</i> meal; just what I heard). I'm much more fit than Her, and so I can lift about 60 times my own weight. I'd say, judging from my own weight, that's about 12 kilowatts. Of course, I don't count my shoes. Wearing them, I might be able to lift 13 kilometres.</div>
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<b>Questioner:</b> Pardon me, but that's incorrect. Even strong human people can't lift that much! That's clearly incorrect.</div>
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<b>Aunt:</b> I'm sorry, did you just call me a <i>LIAR</i>?</div>
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<b>Questioner: </b>No, I mean, but but--</div>
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<b>Aunt:</b> I did not come all this way to be called a liar, or have mine and my and friends integrity criticized! I will leave, if you don't.<br />
<b>Questioner:</b> You know what? Fine. You're right, you can lift 13 kilometres. Let's just hear from Mr. An Ant. How much can you lift?<br />
<b>Ant:</b> I'm only around 1 mg, so 20 kg. </div>
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<b>Questioner: </b> Very good. Now--<br />
<b>Aunt: </b>Oh puh-lease. He's clearly lying, and you don't doubt him at all? Mr. Questionaire, you have singled me out for the last time. I'm calling the police, for all your racist bias! </div>
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<b>Questioner:</b> Okay, okay, enough. I'm moving onto the next question. Why are you wearing an orange onesie?<br />
<b>Ant: </b>I'm not-- FOR THE QUEEN!<br />
<b>Aunt: </b>Because. I'm from Squaresville. Orange is the hip new trend. Duh.</div>
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<b>Questioner: </b>Squaresville, eh? I'm from around... I mean no I wasn't.... I was there.... I visited there, once... long ago... err... hmm... now that I think about it, you look... familiar....<br />
<b>Ant: </b>So what's the next question, I've gotta get back to the hill, you know. FOR THE QUEEN!<br />
<b>Questioner:</b> Uuhh yes, yes, right. The question. What's the best time of the year?<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> Summer. I hate Winter, and Spring, and Summer, and Autumn and--<br />
<b>Ant:</b> Why, the QUEEN'S Birthday! It's such a celebration!<br />
<b>Questioner:</b> So, you love and hate Summer?<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> It's a love-hate... preference....<br />
<b>Questioner:</b> All right, then. How many fingers am I holding up?<br />
<b>Ant: </b>Five. No, six. What in the QUEEN'S name is wrong with that finger?<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> You know, I had a son about your age, and he had a deformed finger, too.<br />
<b>Questioner: </b>What!? Nobody talk's about my finger in that manner, ya hear? I never even heard about no fingers! Yer all lyin', ya mooks!<br />
<b>Ant:</b> Yeah. Okay. I'm just gonna go home now. You can keep your stupid money.<br />
<b>Aunt: </b>Oh never mind him. that Ant was a no good scammer, anyway. I heard about those guys on the tv. Now then, i'd like to ask you a question:<br />
<b>Questioner: </b>I don't know... that is highly unusual...<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> Oh shush. You're as much a nuisance as my son, Robert was. That's why they took him to jail, in the first place, you dope.<br />
<b>Questioner: </b>Rob... ert? That's my name.... I mean, My name is Questioner. QUESTIONER!<br />
<b>Aunt: </b>You just said--<br />
<b>Questioner:</b> I said nothin', see! Now Who's asking the questions, here?<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> Why I --<br />
<b>Questioner:</b> And that onsie looks like a prison suit, not some fashionable get up.<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> Fine. I am a criminal. I was let out of jail last week, and haven't changed from my clothing. I think it fits nice, so there.<br />
<b>Questioner: </b>Then why would you still be wearing a mask, huh?<br />
<b>Aunt:</b> Because I could ask you the same question! And by the way, your "8" fell off.<br />
<b>Questioner:</b> GASP! No, my disguise!<br />
<b>Aunt: </b>Disguise? Tell me, is this you?<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-V5meXhMO82s/V6Yi63DU8cI/AAAAAAAAAj8/r15O_cuH_uw9brRus4vDqBseW89v8lh-ACK4B/s1600/WANTED%2BBANDIT.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-V5meXhMO82s/V6Yi63DU8cI/AAAAAAAAAj8/r15O_cuH_uw9brRus4vDqBseW89v8lh-ACK4B/s400/WANTED%2BBANDIT.png" width="328" /></a></div>
<b>Questioner:</b> Yeah. I admit it. This questioner thing, is all a big sham. <br />
<b>"Aunt": </b>ROBERT! C'mere sweetie<br />
<b> "Questioner": </b> Ma-Ma-Mother? They told me you were taken away, to work for a long time! And when dad ran away, I was all alone. I turned to simple theft, just so I could eat! And then... (sob, sob) I... they took the house, so I was on the run, until they caught me. Oh, mother!<br />
<b>Mother Banks:</b> Now, now, dear. Our family has been on the run, for years. Your father and I were on the run from the law, even before you were born.<br />
<b>Rob Banks:</b> On the run?<br />
<b>MB:</b> Here's the story: *Ahem* Now back when we were quite young, the king had invited your father's family and my family to the King's ball and--<br />
<b>RB: </b>Ma, I'm sorry! We can't talk now I'd love to hear the story later, but we's gotta skip this joint! I betcha that little Ant ratted us out! Let's make like an egg and scram!<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UWdwDhTXyCo/V6O3hOmMBDI/AAAAAAAAAjk/z_SpDvPyMPAtToAlyX9NFLs_KCmFZBPwwCLcB/s1600/DatAunt.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="504" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UWdwDhTXyCo/V6O3hOmMBDI/AAAAAAAAAjk/z_SpDvPyMPAtToAlyX9NFLs_KCmFZBPwwCLcB/s640/DatAunt.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<i><b>FOLLOW UP:</b> So... the Questioner has revealed his real colours, and is currently being hunted for crimes he did commit. We'll need a new Questioner, and auditions will be held in the next IFAQ; which will surely include more questions, than this story of a reunited prisoner, and his prisoner mother. We had no idea that the Questioner was really the Bandit, "1337", or that the woman that we brought in was also an escaped felon. In the future, we will do more research on our guests AND our hosts.</i></div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-57378094407516505102016-03-01T14:13:00.000-08:002016-08-06T15:03:34.393-07:00IFAQ Political Debate 2016: The Donalds are in the Cards<div style="text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="background-color: black; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: large;">A VERY SPECIAL AND <u>SERIOUS</u> POLITICAL DEBATE WITH SPECIAL POLITICAL CANDIDATES: Donald "The </span><span style="background-color: black; font-size: large;">Duck" Duck and Donald "The Trump" Trump. </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="background-color: black;">This debate is being hosted by www.williaint.com, and Mr. The Duck's voice is being translated by dictionary.com (and is no way affiliated to me, the Questioner; and neither are either of of the aforementioned).</i></span></div>
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<u><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="background-color: black;">The First four questions are based on proving how truthfully the candidates can answer the following </i></span></u></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Question 1:</b> <i>What is your name?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Trump: </b>Donald "The Trump" Trump.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Duck:</b> Quack-qua-quackity-quack quack qakqakzkak quaxiquack</span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(Whoops, we forgot to turn on the translator)</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Duck:</b> Donald "The Duck" Duck.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q2:</b> <i>What is your age?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> 36.... And a half.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> 87.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q3<i>:</i></b><i><b> </b>What is your favourite colour?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">T:</b><span style="background-color: black;"> </span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-color: black;">My opponent was in a gang, mumbles when he talks and is a paranoid egomaniac.</span></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Host: </b>Please don't tease Donald about his speech impediment.</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> Blue.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q4:</b> <i>Is your hair real?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> Of Course.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> I don't have hair, I'm a duck. My feathers are real.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q5:</b> <i>This question is for Mr. The Duck. Some say that your "Free Tuition for every duck" policy is radical, biased and unfair to anyone that's not related to ducks. Are these people racist?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> Feh! Pure haters! I can't believe the nerve of some people, you know. That's the most horrible form of racism that I've ever heard! There's no way it could be anything but racism! Pardon my French, but these people are worse than Hitler!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q6: </b><i>A question for both candidates. Some argue that there are too many 'Donalds' running in the election, and when polling time comes, they won't know which 'Donald' to vote for. Which may not be representative of the common voter. Is it true that the government is run by this one percent?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My opponent always gets the last word, will drag the country down with him and doesn't know what makes this country great. What if I said there were too many questions being asked? God bless America!</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> The names are simply coincidence, and shouldn't matter. I represent every American that isn't perfect. Don't Judge people by name alone, but by the actions of their history. It's actually run by the 0.01%.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q8:</b> <i>For both. There are claims that North America is in a transitional phase. What do you plan to do to balance the budget?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My opponent is more interested in Hollywood than Washington, hates Christmas and wears unmatched socks. I'm going to Build America into a New War Monger! Oh, it may cost a lot, but I have a lot of money. It's MY money, of course, so every American (That's you guys), will be the ones paying. I'm speaking in the purely literal sense, though!</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b><span style="background-color: black;"> I plan on making my Uncle, Scrooge McDuck, the treasurer. He's rich for a reason, you know.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Audience Interuption: Why?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> Well, he's good with money! And by the way... he's three times as rich as Mr. The Trump. Oh yeah. And that's even after dealing with my rascally nephews. He'll supplement taxes, until America is out of debt. Taxes won't go up, and gas prices will go down. Everything's balanced!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>T:</b> Ha ha! </span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My opponent just doesn't get it! He wants to jail orphans and he lisps! I--</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><b>H:</b></span><i style="font-family: times, 'times new roman', serif;"> I've told you before! Don't make fun of his speech, or you'll automatically lose this debate, and you'll be sued and your billions will be taken, and you won't be able to be a president of anything </i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">EVER</span><i style="font-family: times, 'times new roman', serif;">. Y'hear Mr. Tr!?</i></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> No. You Listen to me. I am Mr. The Trump. And You're Fired!</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<i style="font-family: times, 'times new roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>H: </b>You can't fire me, I don't even work for you!</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T: </b>Once I'm President, you will! EVERYBODY WILL! Nyehehehehhh....</span></div>
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<b>Q9:</b> <i>Mr. The Trump, we've heard some very hypocritical comments from you about your dislike of Non-American Americans. Is it true that your own parents yourself, were born in ANOTHER country? Mr. The trump... Do you HATE your mother?</i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My opponent steals candy from babies, has an illegal Cuban housekeeper and wants to invade Poland. You know, I've seen this before! And it was under my opponent's watch. Not gonna happen again, folks. Uh-uh. Noooooway, folks. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><b>H:</b></i></span> <i style="font-family: times, 'times new roman', serif;">That wasn't the Question...</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>T:</b> You know, m</span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">y opponent is unfamiliar with the plight of the working class, runs like a sissy and supports illegal immigration.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="background-color: black;"><b>H: </b>Again, you're jumping around the questio</i><i style="background-color: black;">n. Please, Mr. The Trump, If you'd please answer...</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> All those rumours were started by my opponent, in an attempt to terrorize me. I will NOT be terrorized into making false claims about my rich-pure American heritage, that goes back thousands of years!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q10: </b><i> Mr. The Trump, </i><i>We've heard other rumours</i><i> that once you become the President of the United States, you will build a wall that rivals the great wall of China, not just because it will be built by Chinese, but because it'll be built by the same immigrants that you hope to hold out. </i> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> Did you know m<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">y opponent was in a gang, treats children poorly and wants to raise taxes. Listen, folks. He wants to take away your guns!</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> That wasn't a gang, it was the Mickey Mouse Club. Millions of Americans were in that club, EVEN YOU! And those other claims are strictly hearsay, so --</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>H:</b></i> <i>Please, Mr. The Duck. It isn't your Turn. Now, Mr. The Trump, would you please talk about the question at hand.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> Oh. Yeah. Everything is true. About the Duck, and me building a wall. See, All Adult Americans will be conscripted to build a piece of the wall, and then generations on your grandkids can say "Hey, my grandad laid that brick". The Wall will not only protect us, but give countless numbers of jobless Americans jobs. Full time Jobs! And Once we've used our cheap labour I'll fire them all, and send them back home... because spies and secret terrorists could be anywhere. We're gonna be a great country again, America! God Bless like minded people.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q11:</b> <i>Another question about your wall-tower, Mr. The Trump. Sure it's tall, and thick, and we'll probably have to reroute low-flying air traffic because of it. Now, it may be tall and may be a wall... but what if those people you intend to keep out have shovels?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T: </b>Simple Simon. Three steps. 1.Take away their shovels. 2. Electrify the dirt underneath the wall. 3. Make sure we stop these terrorists by invading their phones, and making sure they aren't communicating with other terrorists. That's just common sense, folks.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><b>H:</b></span><i> But you can't--</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> Yeah, the Electric dirt should take care of those shovels and pick axes.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> Uh, Mr. the Trump... that doesn't make any sense! You said you'd take away those shovels... And wouldn't an electrified underground fence cost billions to power each day? Does that mean you plan to raise taxes just to power a fence? And by the way, dirt doesn't--</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q12:</b> <i>Mr. The Duck, please wait your turn! Now then, </i><i>Mr. The Duck,</i><i> how do you feel about this "Great Wall of Donald"? </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> I feel it embarrasses the name "Donald". And you know, I might change my name, if it ever gets built. Maybe to Daniel... or Dennis... Or... Donna... Aherm, anyway, when it comes to international relations, it's like Mr. The Trump actually wants to hide within his walled in controlled community. I want to open trades with countries. I am no chicken, like Mr. The Trump, here.</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="background-color: black;"><b>Q13: </b>For both. How many trees do you plan on planting within the next year?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T: </b>None. Zero. El Zilcho! Planting trees is just a waste of my country's time and money!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D: </b>500, in every metropolitan area. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q14:</b> <i>Mr The Trump. You've said that you are above the pope. Do you think that you are a god?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> I'm above a god! I am THE TRUMP! YA HEAR!?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q15:</b> <i>Mr. The Duck, You have said that you are an atheist, and don't believe in gods. Does that mean, in your opinion, that Mr. Trump does not exist?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> I'm quite certain that Mr. The Trump isn't quite as powerful as he claims. And by the way, I'm not an atheist, I believe in the Hammist religion.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My opponent dyes his hair, wants to kill babies and calls and hangs up and--</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><b>H:</b></span> <i>Stop there, Mr. The Trump, it's time to stop your blatant disregard for the rules, and... ooh it's almost time to start the questions from the audience. Just a few more questions.</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Q16:</b> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ahem... </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Mr. The Duck. Blue collar America was outraged at your anti-duck-hunting laws. Everyone's wondering, "What's next? Anti rabbit season laws?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D: </b>Now, it's just for anthropomorphic ducks. We think that though your regular ducks are fair game, you should try to empathize with them more, and I'm still against duck-hunting. And, as a matter of fact, I'm opening up free range chicken hunting. People like chicken better anyway, they always say everything tastes like it... </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Onto Rabbit hunting. That could be replaced by chicken hunting, too, I suppose. I hate Chickens. they murdered my parents, after all. It's why I've also thought of instituting Anti-pants laws.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q17:</b> <i>Waaah? Anti-Pants laws? I don't see what that has to do with chickens! Does this have anything to do with your no-pants attitude?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> Yes. Trust me. If you don't wear pants, you'll find yourself a lot happier.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>T:</b> Folks, m</span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">y opponent shows poor judgement, wants to raise taxes and has a weak handshake. I once shook his hand, and this was just last week, and his handshake was so limp, I was like "Wow, I've held wet noodles that had a stronger grip than that"!</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-style: italic;">H: </b><i>Mr. The Trump, one more outburst like that and I'm sending you to the Saskatchewan desert! </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Q18:</b><i> Now that more and more celebrities are becoming political figureheads, do you think someone like Kanye West could be president in 2020?</i></span></div>
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<b>T: </b>Oh, yeah. Like anyone would vote for him. Literally.</div>
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<b>T: </b>Have you heard about my opponents anti-life laws? Just ask my good friend, Sarah "The Palin" Palin!</div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><u style="background-color: black;">Now then, the next section: Questions from the real live studio audience! </u></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Audience Question 1: </b>Misser Trump, When'll ya blow'p tha turrarists? And kin we blow'm up any sooner?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Well, my friend, we can get started 'soon as I'm In office! You'll see! Oh, and by the way, <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">my opponent is a bigamist, doesn't believe in Santa Clause and abuses his spouse.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>AQ2:</b> Mr. The Trump, I've heard from others that building a wall into the stratosphere around America is impractical, expensive and won't help our foreign relations. At all.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> Oh Yeah? Well they are wrong, and fired.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>AQ3:</b> My problem is with your elimination of Obama-care, Mr. The Trump! Ya see, My child has been cured of cancer, and aids on Obama-care! I also know of a friend who's child was cured of that new form of the black plague, and that was on Obama care, too! Does eliminating Obama care mean that the children will be put back on these deadly diseases?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> I'm sorry you feel that way. But did you know, <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">my opponent gets expensive manicures, is related to Hitler and talks out of both sides of his mouth.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="background-color: black;"><b>H: </b>Is that a... well, I guess that's more of a comment on lying. Continue.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>AQ4:</b> Yo, T-dog. We's all knows about da Wall to Mexico, Or Great Wall ah Donald, or whatevs. But what about dat other country we border? You know? Canabis?</span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>H: </b>Canada?</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>AQ4: </b>Yeah. That guy. Are we gon be buildin' a big wall between us an dem?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> I never thought about that. But... why not? They recently adopted a million ISIS Refugees. I kid you not! We only let the people we think should be in our country, in our country. 'Merka.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>AQ5: </b>This ties in with the last question. What about the states like Alaska, and Hawaii. Do they get walls, too?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T: </b>Yes. But only if I get a second term, folks!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>AQ6:</b> Mr. The Duck, we've heard many things from Mr. The Trump, ranging from your relationship to other world leaders, to your weak handshake. Will you be organizing weekly trips to the moon?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D: </b>Since it takes more than a week to get to the moon, no. But the Mighty Ducks (from the Show, not the movie... or the hockey team) are working on monthly trips.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>AQ6: </b>Oh. Sure. Great. I'm sure Mr. The Trump could make weekly trips to the moon...</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T: </b>Not just weekly, daily! Oh, and you wanna know what else, folks? <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My opponent has nine toes, can not lead and waddles when he walks.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> I don't have nine toes, I have 6! And I waddle, because I'm a duck, you moroon!</span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>H:</b> Okay that's enough name calling, Mr. The Duck!</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>D:</b> ME? He's been ragging on me this entire time, spreading lies and continually making fun of my speech impediment! OOH. That's it. I'm quitting this biased and idiotic Debate! Quackarzx qua-quackx zqqxzzquzxkxzazxuzxkquaack!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>T:</b> Me? Whaa'd I do? Everything I've said is true! A vote for me is a vote for you!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>H:</b> Well, I guess this debate is over. Until next time: This is an IFAQ Political Debate!</span></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Post Script: Although these comments may seem real, and the studio audience may seem like real live people, asking real questions, there should be no doubt that they actually are real people, and not made up in any way.</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><u style="font-weight: bold;">UPDATE 2.0: </u>Picture</span></div>
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Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-56146696479520127382015-07-22T11:42:00.000-07:002015-07-22T13:52:31.134-07:00IFAQ: The Fairly Random Edition<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>Infrequently Asked Question: The Fairly Random Edition </u></span></b></div>
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<i style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>Questions Generated from Random Probability (Thanks to <a href="http://www.generatorland.com/">GeneratorLand.com</a>)</u></i><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> </span></span><span style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: yellow;">How is a ghost gonna jump over a muskrat into a Zebra?</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- McJunior McSteven McHarper, McOttawa, McCanada</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Master McHarper, The best way for the Ghost to do this is by rusty tricycle, and conveniently placed ramp.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 18px;">When is a pigeon going to fling an orange crush into a gopher? </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mrs. Evangeline Pearson, Ohio, Libya</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Mrs. Pearson, the </span></span><span style="color: yellow; line-height: 18px;">pigeon</span><span style="color: yellow;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> in question will fling a bottle of Orange Crush directly into a gopher on August 17th, 2016. The time will be Midnight, exactly.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Why is a pirate ship going to toss a mouse over an Octopus?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mr. Tasha Goins, British Columbia, New Guinea</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Goins, the curious nature of pirate ships comes down to the simply complex design of their construction. In some rare cases, pirate ships have been seen throwing potted plants in or around greenhouses. The root of the ship's tossing has been concluded to be based on which wood the ship was constructed of. The tossing of a mouse over, but not into, or toward, suggests it was built from a combination of South American Birch and a Northern Lodgepole deciduous bush root.</span></span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Where is my King going to whistle into an ethernet cable, near a goat? </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mr. Ethan Henry Stuart, Tokyo, Bhutan</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Stuart, your King, Lucia Montano, the Berserk Drug Lord from The Kingdom of Lincoln, could whistle into an ethernet cable near a goat, in Jasper, Alberta. </span></span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Why is a Knight in Shining Armour going to hop on a plate, around a gazelle?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Jimmy Blanchard Junior, The Death Pluto, Space</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">A: </b>Dear Jimmy B. Junior, It's all the rage these days for Knights to hop on plates, around the Antelope type species of mammal. I suspect this Shining knight was merely following the crowd. There is one other, more depressing solution, and that is that he has Quixotiosis. It's a rare form of dementia, in which the sufferer believes common objects are dragons, or enemies, like the fictional character, Don Quixote.</span></span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> When is a Jesus going to throw a roller skate near a Cow?? </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mrs. Fergie Rodriquez, Des Moines, India</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Mrs. Rodriquez, you can expect a Jesus to throw a roller skate near a cow, in 2037. It's this date that Jesus is resurrected a 3rd time, after being mistaken for a spy, in 2024, and shot 18 times by imperialist Bhutanese rebels. Any how... In 2037, Jesus Comes back, and after getting frustrated with his new roller skates, takes them out to his Country Acherage, and thows the skates into the neighbours field, right by the cow. It takes place around 3:36pm.</span></span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> How is a hotel going to skip over a space ship, toward a whale? </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Ms. Patty McGowan, Iqaluit, Malta</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Ms. McGowan, it is widely believed that these days Hotels are built with high-tensity hydrolic shock dampers (operated via Master Control Panel, in the Janitorial Closet), which could theoretically launch a 20 storey hotel 50 meters, 164 feet, in the air. This could be enough to skip over a space ship. As long as this happens in a coastal area, and there just happens to be a beached whale, The Question has been answered.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> </span></span><span style="color: yellow; line-height: 18px;">What is a Friendly Francine going to splash a kitten with, around a camel?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Master Seymour Shoemaker, the Arcade, Syria</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Master Shoemaker, this is a tough question, and I needed to consult the Maddening Blogger of East Nebraska, Abby Graham: "<i>Friendly Francine is in quite a pickle. Typically, camels live in dry, sandy places, with little liquids available, for splashing kittens with. the best choice you have is to use sand. Yes, particles can be used to splash, almost as well as liquid, but liquified sand would work even better. </i>" </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">A: </b>Dear Mr. Guevara Junior, the modern Smart Toilets have speakers in them. If the convention goes long enough, this man may need to go to the bathroom, and that is how.</span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> How is a hog going to talk a plate into burning itself? </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Dunlap, plates are easily bribed, and are also generally naive. The hog could offer the plate a measly five dollars, and the plate would burn itself. However, a paper plate should only be offered a dollar, or change, because burning is deadly to paper plates, and it would just be a waste of paper bills.</span></span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> What is a bat going to whisper to an elephant, in the RV?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Ms. Lange, you may be assuming that this whispering may be about a relationship between the bat and elephant, but you couldn't be more wrong. It's gossip about a relationship between the rat and elephant seal.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> </span></span><span style="color: yellow; line-height: 18px;">Why is a rat screaming at a hat, on top of a matt?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mrs. Marcel Rubin, Ontario, Cameroon</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Mrs. Rubin, the Hat was being a jerk and hatting -- I mean hitting -- the rat's best friend, Harry the elephant seal. The matt was covering a stain from the hat accidentally hitting some Orange crush juice onto the floor.</span></span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Where is a Knight in Rusted Tin gonna jump over a puppy in rusted satin?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mr. Ric Dudley, West Quebec, Sri Lanka</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">A:</b> Dear Mr. Dudley, Puppies in rusted satin are more than plentiful in Nova Scotia. Rusty knights are not quite as plentiful, and are only found in New Saskatoon, on nights when the moon is full. If you can get a Rusty Puppy to New Saskatoon, then you will have to wait until the full moon. The Knight, then, will jump over the puppy as soon as possible. The answer to where, when and how. </span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> What is a prince gonna throw into a tree near the start line? </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mr. Matthew Norman Howell, Michigan, Iraq </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Why is Jesus going to tie a bear to an Atomic Bomb?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mr. Francine Kerr, Winnipeg, Cuba</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Kerr, this is one bad bear. He was trying to start another World War, and was eating all of Jesus' Fish. The bear is also an opinionated racist, speciest, and practiced <i>Satinism</i> (the religion that finds satin holy). Jesus has plenty of Atom Bombs to spare, in his underground weapon store.</span></span></div>
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Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-32836348487644639132015-07-03T20:17:00.003-07:002015-07-03T22:39:24.499-07:00IFAQ: Generosity Killed the Cat<div style="text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>Infrequently Asked Question: Generosity Killed the Cat</u></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Questions about why, who to and where those fuzzy felines give so much. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> I was feeding my neighbour's cat, and it gave me a mouse. What's the exchange rate, in Canadian money? </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- McMr McSteven McHarper, McOttawa, McCanada</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Hip Cat, The Alley, <i><b>YOUR</b></i> Alley</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Cat, Jimmy Whiskers is the cat who knows where it's at. He also knows where </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">he's </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">at, but he won't tell anyone else. Good luck finding him.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">Q:</b> My cat, Sandy, and my other cat, Sandy, never leave me a present on Christmas. They don't even leave me a gift card. For crying out sakes, I haven't even gotten a happy birthday card from them, in 30 years! They Will both be 50 years old, next week, and I'm not sure if I should give them a Birthday mouse, this year. What should I do?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mrs. Sandy Happiford, KIWANIS, North Texas</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dear Mrs. Happiford, The average lifespan of an average housecat is about 10-15 years. I'm afraid that your cats have been dead for almost 35 years.</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><b> </b>Oh my goodness! Then who have I been giving Christmas mice to, all these years? It wasn't the Greeks, was it?</span></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mrs. Sandy Happiford, KIWANIS, North Texas</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I'm sor</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">ry to say that you've been giving those mice to Old Man Houseboat, your local mouse taxidermist, who has been selling them back to you, and then taking them and selling them back again. For him, it has been a very profitable business. However, he is not Greek.</span></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b> </b>Howdy, yall! Our Cat Whippin' races've lost a farmer's ton ah popularity, since last year! I reckon it's to do with how much we tan the hides of our racin' cats. And all them fancy city folks is agin' it! But how else's we gonna get 'em to run faster?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">-- Ms. Pansy Horseback, Stampede, Calgary</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><b style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">A: </b><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">D</span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">ear M</span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">s. Horseback, A better method to speed up those cats is to give them catnip-caps, with dangling catnip-mice. It's the economical and ecological method!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> Mr. Spanky is my most prized possession. Why, everyone knows she's the prettiest pussy around! I feed her only the finest of fancy feasts and groom her with the purest diamond encrusted, gold leafed combs. Now, I know Christmas is still half a year away, but what's the perfect gift I can get for this most purrrrfect specimen of a feline? X3</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">-- Nancy Prantsy, Great Koomunga Junction</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dear Mrs. Pantsy, have I got a secret for you! Down by Uncle Murphy's Farm, there's a big heart-shaped truck. Now, ask him for the "Good stuff", and wink. Then he'll wink, and hand you a bag. Then Purrrrr (And remember to roll your 'r's) and finally give him $40. That's the purrrfect gift for your "<i>purrfect</i>" cat.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> I don't even own any cats but suddenly they're all over the place! I turned 40 recently, is this supposed to be some kind of celebration? Should I bust out the roach foggers?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- Drew Nottaclu, 345 Westforce lane, Moon Town</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Nottaclu, The cat thing has probably reached it's peak. I think camels will make a comeback, pretty soon... Or Jetpacks. Whichever they invent first.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b>Q:</b> Imagine a world where the fine line between animal and man becomes an odd shakey blur; Where human identity is a faint grey mass without shape, and the hand you once spread butter with is now the paw on the other cat. And the cat you thought was once your friend feeds the mice and shakes hands with dogs. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">How do cats think? How do cats FEEL? What makes a cat really a cat? Great philosophers would never consider entertaining these thoughts. But when dead birds start piling up on your doorstep, it might be too late.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- Rod Serling, Twilight Zone</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">A: </b><span style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Serling, To answer your questions, we took it to the leading feline zoolologist in Egypt, at the SPHINXOLOGICAL INSTITUTE. They have built a House Cat translator, and it remains the only in existence, to this day. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">All Cat's speak a form of Ancient Egyptian lost to the pyramids, long ago.</span><span style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> According to our English translators, in Egypt, cats only spoken words are "Mee-ahh" (Yeah), and "Mee-ooo" (No). These are the only phrases Cats know, at least in English, or are audible to human ears. So, how do cat's think? "Yeah" . How do they feel? "No". What makes a cat a cat? "Yeah". </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- Mr. and Mrs. Leslie Christine, Henry's Pub and Bar, Downtown</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Mr. and Mrs. Christine,</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mortimer Puddyfoot" was born August 2, 2017, at 5:00am.</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black;"><b>Q: </b>We were both wrong! I thought it was August 2, 2017 at 5:01am, and my wife thought at 5:00pm. So long, cruel world!</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- The Late Mr. and Mrs. Leslie Christine, Hell, Downtown</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: center;">Q: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: center;">My curious cat asked me, the other day, "How can I ask you a question"?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- Patricia Aardvark, Arkansas, New Jersey</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">A:</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"> To be part of this blog, just send an email to </span><span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px; text-decoration: underline;"><a data-mce-href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com" href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com" style="text-decoration: none;">williaint@gmail.com</a></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"> or, if you feel lucky, </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"><i><span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="text-decoration: underline;">comments@jollybiscuit.com.</span></i></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"> You could also try emailing any other of the "Staff" at Happy Cracker. I don't care where you live, your Dog House, the Center of Downtown, or even Saskatchewan, I can receive one of your internet emails. So be quick about it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"><i style="line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"><u>NEXT WEEK'S theme is:</u></i><span style="line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"> '</span><u style="line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">Where does that come from?!'</u></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow;"><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px; text-align: left;"></i></span><br /></span>
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px; text-align: left;"><i style="line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"><span style="background-color: black; color: red;">Any similarities to real people is purely coincidental...</span></i></i></div>
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Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-87784551435100836142015-04-07T14:07:00.000-07:002015-07-02T17:56:48.463-07:00IFAQ: Sports Talk.<h3 style="clear: both; margin: 5px 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: Oxygen;"><span style="color: yellow; font-size: 20px; line-height: 18px;"><u>In-Frequently Asked Questions: Sports Talk</u></span></span></span></h3>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">Questions about upcoming sports events, sports players, and sports sports sports.</span></div>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> According to sportsnat.nat, The <i>Cowgary Flams</i> are Up to their 15th consecutive McSteven's cup. How many games left? They are the bestest team in the world!!</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- McMr McSteven McHarper, McOttawa, McCanada</span></div>
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<li><span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. McHarper, Lucky for you, I have a Pro-Contact in the Sportsnat studio, Gregorie Strongbolonga:<i> "</i></span><span style="background-color: black;"><i>Hey, Sportspans! The </i>Cowgary Flams<i> have one more month of regular season play, and eight games left. Since they are the only team in the </i>International Hoikey League of Canada<i>, they plan on winning their 10036th game, by default, tomorrow (Monday, April 6th) at 8:00 am." </i></span></span></li>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b>Q:</b> </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I want to start my own sport. The problem is, the geneva convention keeps getting in my way F***ing way! It's not fair! People break bones <i>all</i> the time in Football, Cricket and Rugby! Why can't we have a game where that's the <b><i>OBJECTIVE?!</i></b></span></span></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Ms. Marry Barry, Grand Canyon</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dear Ms. Barry, I questioned the Geneva Convention about your attempts to begin this New Sport, and I was informed, quite voluntarily I may add. According to the Geneva Convention's ancillary Public rule book section 40, page 53 <i>"New Sports will </i><u>not</u><i> be accepted without proper paper-work. Ms. Barry's inadequate submissions of smart-phone texting for this sport, which she calls </i>'Basket Boot'<i>, involves neither baskets, nor boots. The brief description of the game involved the 'berating of other players with locally provided weapons'."</i></span></span></span></li>
</ul>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Which sport is the fastest?</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">-- Mr. </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Horrace "Horrible" Guastacho, Seattle</span></span></span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. Guastacho, the fastest sport, in terms of speed, is 'Aerial Head-Darts' -- the game which involves wearing 100 meter long cones on ones head, and dropping onto a target. People have managed to reach speeds of over 700km/h. Until only recently this was only a contest, but it was given the sport title, as several teams have been formed.<br />The fastest growing sport is "Speed Planting", a tournament which involves growing plants at ridiculous speeds!</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
</span><br />
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b>Q: </b>Very Soon, my sports playing robot will become so powerful </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">that all human athletes will become obsolete, and the world will be <b><i>MINE!!!</i></b> However, there may be a flaw in my otherwise perfect plan... Are robots even allowed to play <i>all</i> the sports, or are they only allowed to play one sport at a time?</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Doctor Pitts, Center of the Earth Labrotory, Earth</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. Doctor Pitts, we reccomend building multiple robots for various sports. Teams, if you will, of robots. The Geneva Convention Public Support, regarding a Robot Appocolypse, says <i> "robots are allowed to play any sport, as long as humans aren't being killed. Robots will therefore not allowed to play the Tentative sport </i>'Basket Boot'<i>".</i></span></li>
</ul>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Can Anyone defeat me?</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- "The <b>Best</b>", Champion Colosseum, Colorado</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr./Mrs. "Best", Legends foretell that there is one who will defeat you. This person, who may or may not have been born yet, has unbelievable powers. You shall now live in the constant fear, until that fateful day that you meet.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> I'm a semi-proffesional student athlete, so please tell me: How well I did I do on my last Fitness Test?</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Ms. Kayla Monkeyback, Hairyannna, Montana</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mrs. Monkeyback , Our records show you scored a 5 out of a possible 500 in your last Fitness Test (yesterday). Since the scores have been graded on a curve, you got a passing grade.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span>
</span><br />
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> I play a lot of sports, but I'm still an obese blob. Please help me, Dr. Fitman!</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Bobby Slobbert, Urban Fatropolis, Fatropia</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A: </b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dear Mr. Slobbert, at your request </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dr. Fitman responds: "<i>Most people that play as many sports would be much more fit, like me, Dr. Fitman. However, the only sports that you have recorded to play have been computer games. I'm so disappointed, I called your parents, and told them to melt your computers and video games into plastic bubble wrap."</i></span></span></span></li>
</ul>
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</span><br />
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> I want to be a Referee, when I grow up! Where do I sign up?</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Doug Rocks, Goodlands, Alberta</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. Rocks, You may find the applications to this occupation at your local supermarket.</span></li>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> I was wondering: Now that's I'm a full grown Ref, I wanted to help my team out be 'accidentally' getting in the way of the opposition's puck, or knocking the players on that team over. Do you know of any other ways I can secretly help my fav team out? </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I'm a bit biased, but don't tell anyone. </span></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Doug Rocks, Badlands, Alberta</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. Rocks. I'm afraid what you are proposing would be technical interference. You may also lose your job. But... I had one idea: Steal a dropped stick, and act like you were taking it back to the player, but toss it over the netting, for the fans to start raving over. I also had this idea: Scream, like there's no tomorrow, and point in a distracting manner. This might offer a mild distraction, and an opportunity to score. Just make sure it's your team.</span></li>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Who's my favourite teams?</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mrs. Nosina Nostrilina, Hamsterdam, Netherlands</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mrs. Nostrilina, your favourite teams are: The Cowgary Flams, of the International Hoikey League of Canada, the Green Bay Green B's, of the Aerial Head-Dart Federation and the Grand Canyon Caners of the Basket Boot Wrestling League.</span></li>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> How many National Hockey League teams will there be in 2025?</span></span></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Ms. Antelope Quilly-Cue, Mr. Pantaloon Quilly-Cue, Footy Mousland, Macavakia</span></div>
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<li><span style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A-1:</b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> Dear Ms. and Mr. Quilly-Cue, we have to do some quick math, so we called Dr. Mathlete: </span><br /><i style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I decided to make an average. I averaged the teams, since 1917, included the lockout, and got 15. Since that number has never come up, in 97 years of the NHL, I decided it must be wrong. This became a logical paradox, as Dr. Mathlete cannot be incorrect</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">...</span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">ERROR-ERROR-ERROR</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A-2:</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> I apologize, but Dr. Mathlete needs to be rebooted. So, Using Prediction Technology that I've found, by 2025, there will be 36 NHL teams: 5 of these teams are resurrected / moved. 5 are new expansions: </span><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">1.</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> The Quebec Nordiques return to Quebec City, due to low popularity of the NJ Devils </span><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">2.</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> Saskatoon gets the San Jose Sharks, and renames them the The Saskatoon Sharks.</span><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> 3.</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> Tampa Bay Lighting move to Thunder Bay, bought by a famous North Ontario Billionaire. They keep the name, "Lightning" </span><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">4.</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> The Quebec BullDogs return, after 103 years, but to St. Johns. They have the least number of players, in the entire league and are bought by the owners of "CAP-IT" </span><b style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">5.</b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> Seattle gets the Hurricanes , after a giant hurricane destroys North Carolina, in 2017 <b>1.</b> The Victoria Vampires are part of the new 2018 expansion teams <b>2.</b> Kansas City Wheat Kings, bought by Wil Wheaton (Over the course of the next five years this franchise will swap 7 owners) <b>3. </b>Nashville Fishermen. This franchise would not survive a single season in Nashville, and move to the American East coast, a more appropriate area, where they lasted 5 seasons in Hartford, as the Whalers, and finally end in 2026 <b>4.</b> Regina gets a hockey team, the Regina Rough Riders <b>5. </b> Montana gets a new team, the PipeLiners. Wayne Gretzky becomes the head coach, after his "longing for hockey". The team makes it to the playoffs but loses, in it's second season, but loses after the first round.<br />AND that's what will happen with the NHL teams, by 2025.</span></span></span></span></li>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> I got a message, from god, that I must be the best curler ever! There's only one problem... What's Curling?</span></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">-- Mrs. Sammy Peterstein, New York, Pennsylvania.</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mrs. Sammy, Curling is a casual sport. It's sort of like bocce ball, only you play on ice.</span></li>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Bitstream Charter, Times, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Q:</b> I want to be the fastest person in the world! How do I send letters to this now Renowned Publication?</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- Mr. Charlie Pillowsworth, Mexico, New Mexico</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="color: yellow;">A:</b><span style="color: yellow;"> To be part of this blog, just send an email to </span><span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="color: yellow; text-decoration: underline;"><a data-mce-href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com" href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com">williaint@gmail.com</a></span><span style="color: yellow;"> or, if you feel lucky, </span><b style="color: yellow;"><i><span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="text-decoration: underline;">comments@jollybiscuit.com.</span></i></b><span style="color: yellow;"> You could also try emailing any other of the "Staff" at Happy Cracker. I don't care where you live, Seattle, the Center of the earth, or Saskatchewan, I can receive one of your internet emails. So be quick about it.</span><br /><span style="color: yellow;"><i><u>NEXT WEEK'S theme is:</u></i> '</span><span style="color: yellow;"><u>Help, I'm locked in something!'</u></span><br /><i><span style="color: red;">Any similarities to real people is purely coincidental...</span></i></span></li>
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Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-36947801137981348132015-03-23T22:32:00.000-07:002015-03-24T13:37:14.676-07:00IFAQ: For Parliament<h3 style="clear: both; margin: 5px 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Oxygen; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 18px;"><u>In-Frequently Asked Questions </u></span></span><span style="font-family: Oxygen;"><span style="font-size: 20px; font-style: italic; font-weight: 400; line-height: 18px;"><u>For </u></span><i style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 20px; line-height: 18px;"><u>Parliament</u></span><span style="font-size: 20px; line-height: 18px;"><u>:</u></span></i></span></span></h3>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black;">Questions that you <i>wanted</i> to hear a straight answer to, but you asked someone in politics.</span></span></div>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> How much Safer would the right to bear guns make Canada? The News says they will make it a lot safer.</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Hocke R. Schmokes, Duntown T'rana, Candadadadadadadadadadadada</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr./Mrs. Mr. H. Schmokes, the current opinion of 13 people (aged 8-80) is that "yes, it would!" This is based on 37 polls, during the last 20 years, on several different issues. In all of these cases, the only catalogued answers were "yes".</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Living in the Antarctic, I'm concerned how much will my taxes go up when Bill C-51 passes?</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Ms. Annie Of Antarctica, The Arctic, Antarctica</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr./Mrs. A. Antarctica, At this point in time, we have primarily scientific stakes in Antarctica, so you won't have to worry about this 'Tentative Bill'.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> I've heard that Bill C-51 will take away jobs from normal people in the work place, like me! I've also heard that it gives the police the ability to use postal drones to arrest homeless people, drunk drivers, and riffraff without any details. Is this true?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mrs. Henry Junior, Middle City, Canada</span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr./Mrs. H. Junior, it is our opinion that Bill C-51 will not raise taxes in </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">our plans for raising taxes in our expansion of Iraq.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span><br />
<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q: </b>Wonder me this: Who would win in a fight Batman, or Lego Batman?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- The Wondering Wonderer, Got Ham City, Hamerica</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr./Mrs. W. Wonderer, we would like to inform you that you have sent this question to the incorrect division. You must resend it to the "<i>Questions about Batman and Lego</i>" division, located it Saskartoon.</span></li>
</ul>
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<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Where can I just stand around like this?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Lingering Loiterson, Lazyton, Canadeja vu</span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. / Mrs. L. Loiterson, this Party's position on loitering is that it's bad. Please do not loiter.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> How much money will Alberta make on gas rebates, for that matter the other provinces and territories?</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="background-color: black; text-align: left;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; text-align: left;">-- Mrs. Doubting Bethany, Moneytreal, Queebeck</span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. / Mrs. D. Bethany,<b> </b>That information is not public domain.</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> My internet stopped working, so I couldn't send this email. That is to say, I couldn't send the finished vers--</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- -------------</span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Yes.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<br />
<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> I heard that the CBC would be filming some films about Hinterland Who's Who. Who will be starring in it?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Doug Rocks, Badlands, Alberta</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. / Mrs. D. Rocks, This government does not comment on rumours.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> It's officially spring, but there's still snow. What is the Government going to do about it?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mrs. Fanny Angryoni, Super Nova Scotia, Canoodle</span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. / Mrs. F. Angryoni, the Canadian Government is putting all resources into fighting the snow disasters on the east coast. We've even put zambonis on the streets. Be warned, there may be more ice than normal</span></li>
</ul>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> When does my favourite band play?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Antsy Pantine, Panoka, Alberta</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. / Mrs. A. Pantine, Your government does not comment on rumours.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> Bonjour, no?</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Theodore Backwash, Limp Noodle, Labradore</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: yellow; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black;"><b>A:</b></span> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">Dear Mr. / Mrs. T. Backwash, Oui.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> I've just found out that this week is the last week to sign up at the Target's going away sale. Is this true?</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">-- Mrs. Sally Sellers, Tent, Canadate</span></div>
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</span>
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<ul>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. / Mrs. Sellers, Target Canada will no longer exist at the end of April. Zellers Will return, and this is based on analytical statistics.</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Bitstream Charter, Times, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span>
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<ul style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> I want to ask a question. How?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Hon. Steve J. Harper, PC Party, Ottawa</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A:</b> Send your questions to <span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="text-decoration: underline;"><a data-mce-href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com" href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com">williaint@gmail.com</a></span> or, if you feel lucky, <b><i><span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="text-decoration: underline;">comments@jollybiscuit.com.</span></i></b> You could also try emailing any other of the "Staff" at Jilly Boscuit. No matter where you live, Mexico, the badlands, or Saskatchewan, I can receive one of your internet emails. </span></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-25798929864447143472015-03-15T16:03:00.004-07:002015-03-15T16:43:19.844-07:00IFAQ: Mathletes and Mexico<h3 style="clear: both; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 20px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 18px; margin: 5px 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; text-decoration: underline;">In-Frequently Asked Questions:</span></b></h3>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><i>More</i> questions you didn’t think existed, mattered, or needed a response</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Do you have a terrorist's plot? I'm all out of mine.</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Terry Orrist, Not From Around Here, Other Place</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Sorry, Terry, I don't have any, either. But... I know this guy....</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
</span><br />
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Dear Willton, How High can you five?</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Maurice P. Doate, Chesterlake, Tazmania</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Higher than You, Maurice. You see, I learned a secret technique to allow me the ultimate high-five.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> How many chews does it take to finish a 'Dubble Bubble' bubble gum?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Mr. Gumble, Teriaki, Bay of Fumble</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>One half chew.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> PSSSSSST! Not so loud! Have you read the 2015 edition of the Annual Thesaurus? I thought it was too full of repetition.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Whispering Pine, Library, The Woods</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>SORRY, I HAVEN'T MANAGED TO GET MY HANDS ON THAT ONE, YET! IF YOU WERE DISAPPOINTED WITH THE THESAURUS, TRY READING AN ENCYCLOPEDIA; THOSE THINGS ARE FULL OF VARIATION!</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> My mathletics score is literally a fail. WON'T YOU HELP ME, DR. MATHLETE!?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Grade 10, Math Class, Your City</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>I'm not Dr. Mathlete, but I do have his contact information. So, I asked him your question:<br /><b><i>Dr. Mathlete:</i></b> Dear Mr. 10, of Math Class: I've talked to your mathletic instructors, and we have agreed that your decreasing knowledge of mathematics would put you back to Grade 1. After careful discussion, with your teacher's and parents, we thought Grade 1 would be the perfect place for you to go. Would you like that? Huh? Would ya?</span></li>
</ul>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
</span><br />
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> Waldo, where am I?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Frightened Mickey, ????</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
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<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>I couldn't find Waldo either, so I couldn't help you out.</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
</span><br />
<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> What if my name was Hairy Apple Tree?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Sherron Gabble Green, Big City, Meprotopolis</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>You'd need more hair, and have to live in a Hippy Commune.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> I've found this rock, and I think it's a real live diamond! How much is it worth?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Doug Rocks, Badlands, Alberta</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>I'm afraid it's only quartz. So, if you tie some string on it, you may manage to make a dollar.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> It's almost spring! So... What do you plan to do for the International Time Change Day?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Lassy T. Weeks, Not Saskatchewan, Canada</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>The Time Change was last week; also, despite popular belief, it's not a International Holiday.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> So, It's almost spring. How much spring cleaning do I have?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Pero Krastinator, Los Amigos City, Mexico</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Pero, Buddy. The garage is FULL of things to clean, this spring. So is your shed, and the attic. You may want to hire someone to help you out...</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> Dear Senor, my vecino eez muy desordenado! ¿Qué debo hacer?</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- la senora Grapes Vine, Los Amigos City, Mexico</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b>A: </b>In English, Mrs. Grapes. I'm afraid All you can do is ask nicely. I've already tried to call the Fire Dept., on Mr. Krastinator, so, we'll just have to wait and see how well his spring cleaning works out...</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Q:</b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> My niece is staying at my house for the week, which is not a suitable environment for toddlers at all. With all this shoddy three-decade-old wiring and failing balloon suspension, it's only a matter of time before all my years of neglect and poor handyman skills catch up with me. </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">So I guess what I'm trying to ask is can I stay in your basement for a month?</span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Chester Busting, Red Deer, Ontario</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A: </b>Gee Whiz, I've already rented my basement to the Mole People. They constantly make a ruckus, though... so I may consider kicking them out.</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Bitstream Charter, Times, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21.8181819915772px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
</span><br />
<ul style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>Q:</b> How do I send in my own questions to this greatly revered document?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">-- Pero, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Procrastinator, Los Amigos City, Mexico</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 21.8181819915772px;">
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>A:</b> Send your questions to <span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="text-decoration: underline;"><a data-mce-href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com" href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com">williaint@gmail.com</a></span> or, if you feel lucky, <b><i><span data-mce-style="text-decoration: underline;" style="text-decoration: underline;">comments@jollybiscuit.com.</span></i></b> You could also try emailing any other of the "Staff". at Jorry Berscuit. No matter where you live, Mexico, the badlands, or Saskatchewan, I can receive one of your internet emails. </span></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-57126227294718053272015-03-06T23:53:00.002-08:002015-03-07T11:38:13.365-08:00IFAQ: Local Emails on Elephants in Saskatchewan<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>In-Frequently Asked Questions:</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Questions you didn't think existed, mattered, or needed a response</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="text-align: left;"><b>Q:</b> How often do you use the company Elephant for school's field trips? </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="text-align: left;">-- Anthony B. Fickleberry, Charcoal Diamond Mine, BigLongWait, Saskatchewan</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="text-align: left;"><b>A: </b>Dear Mr. FickleBerry, I am sorry to inform you that the Company Elephant, Charlie Bacon, broke his leg in a gopher hole last year, and will no longer walk in the school's fields. Now, the gopher is suing us, for damaging it's property. Good grief!</span></li>
</ul>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="text-align: left;"><b>Q:</b> How many Questions? </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="text-align: left;">-- Jimmy age 8,</span> Saskatchewan<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="text-align: left;"><b>A:</b> I'm sorry Jimmy, but to answer that you'll need to give me more information; Like, do you mean how many questions in this? How many questions exist in the world? How many questions you've asked? And along what timeline(s)?</span></li>
</ul>
<b><br /></b>
<ul>
<li><span style="text-align: left;"><b>Q:</b> How many... hamburgers?</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="text-align: left;">-- Jimmy age 8, Saskatchewan</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="text-align: left;"><b>A:</b> Okay, I'll try to answer best I can... 3. 1568^7658. 2 (in this post) 10000342, in your life. 1569002 hamburgers currently exist.</span></li>
</ul>
<b><br /></b>
<ul>
<li><b>Q:</b> What's the meaning of life?</li>
</ul>
<div>
-- Wondering Wanda, Winnipeg, Saskatchewan.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><b>A:</b> 42.</li>
</ul>
<b><br /></b>
<ul>
<li><b>Q:</b> If Saskatchewan had an NHL hockey team, what would it be called? </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
-- The Rouge Rider, Hardtohide, Saskatchewan</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><b>A</b>: Well, If Saskatoon gets a little bigger, I'd say the "Saskatoon Kartoons". More likely however, it'll be the Saskatchewan (Or Regina) RoughRiders. I'm not sure what the rules are on having a CFL team be the same players, and having the same name as an NHL team...</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<ul>
<li><b>Q:</b> When's the time change, at 2 am, tonight? I want to set my clock at exactly the right time, so my clock is 100% accurate!</li>
</ul>
<div>
-- Professor Fiddlesticks, Professor at Large, Regina, Saskatchewan</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><b>A:</b> Don't worry, Professor; Saskatchewan doesn't believe in time change!</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Q: How far is it to Mary's house?</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
-- Amy DeLoused, Bear Paddle Lake, Saskatchewan</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><b>A:</b> 10.5 meters.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><b>Q:</b> How do I send in my own questions to this revered document?</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
-- Could B. You, Possibly In, Saskatchewan </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><b>A:</b> Send your questions to <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:williaint@gmail.com">williaint@gmail.com</a></u> or, if you feel lucky, <i><u><b><a href="mailto:williaint@williaint.com">williaint@williaint.com</a></b></u></i> . If otherwise mentioned, I WiLL use your email. And possibly make up a fictional place where you came from, like "Saskatchewan".</li>
</ul>
</div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-48307322057145328672014-12-31T23:16:00.002-08:002014-12-31T23:16:20.135-08:00A new year.My sentiments exactly.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LlmZYh0hK68/VKTy7Hu8-AI/AAAAAAAAAc4/MkzGnQrR3iQ/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2015-01-01%2Bat%2B12.07.51%2BAM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LlmZYh0hK68/VKTy7Hu8-AI/AAAAAAAAAc4/MkzGnQrR3iQ/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2015-01-01%2Bat%2B12.07.51%2BAM.png" height="175" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>It seems like 2014 was only a day ago...</b></span></div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-36900376618396481562014-12-10T20:45:00.006-08:002014-12-10T20:45:59.657-08:00A jingle bell rock.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: orange;">It's the</span> <span style="color: red;">Holiday's </span><span style="color: orange;">Sea</span><span style="color: red;">son</span>.<span style="color: red;"> </span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BM1aCY8dYdE/VIkgu8WpY4I/AAAAAAAAAcY/6Mk2OiZzBzw/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2014-12-10%2Bat%2B9.41.20%2BPM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BM1aCY8dYdE/VIkgu8WpY4I/AAAAAAAAAcY/6Mk2OiZzBzw/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2014-12-10%2Bat%2B9.41.20%2BPM.png" height="194" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There you have it. One of the many Jingle Bell <u>Rocks</u>.</div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-17302154193060772792014-11-21T21:22:00.001-08:002014-11-21T21:25:02.796-08:00Are your tedious?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To answer my badly phrased question,"Meh. I dunno."<br />I have nothing to offer. Yes, It's a pretty. Pretty <i>BORING!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I should try doing some more things.<br />Also, I'm affiliated with an actually cool Website. I can't say much more than <a href="http://www.jollybiscuit.com/" target="_blank">that</a>.</span>Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-26948099886271081182014-10-01T11:59:00.002-07:002014-10-01T12:06:20.026-07:00My nose is ready!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U3pJG7p7E5E/VCxQTulJevI/AAAAAAAAAXw/3X41ZfbNyhY/s1600/surgery.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U3pJG7p7E5E/VCxQTulJevI/AAAAAAAAAXw/3X41ZfbNyhY/s1600/surgery.png" height="290" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-80275502330523335932014-08-16T17:51:00.002-07:002014-08-16T17:51:29.423-07:00Don't be so crusty.For lack of a better post, <b><span style="color: blue;"><u>This</u></span></b>.Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-36386995483729742812014-06-09T12:51:00.004-07:002014-06-09T12:51:41.416-07:00It's all "new".<br />
An updated version of the QAS Animation Lockdown Video.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://williaint.com/JohnnyMcLaw.html">http://williaint.com/JohnnyMcLaw.html</a></div>
<br />
Or on the YOU TOObe:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://youtu.be/CFxZW7fUEfc">http://youtu.be/CFxZW7fUEfc</a></div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-55980516875552106772014-05-24T13:56:00.001-07:002014-05-27T11:02:59.481-07:00I told you so.Something big happened. I actually have a 5 + minute film, <b><u>for anyone who's anyone</u></b>, to watch.<br />
<div>
Thanks to Lane for the help (Acting, music, some animation, moral support, writing, etc.), QuickDraw Animation for Hosting the 'LockDown' and providing a green screen, and Catharine, who acted as Sgt. Carl.<br />
<i>Check my '<a href="http://williaint.com/film.html" target="_blank">fILM</a>' section!</i><br />
<br />
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">It's also on YouToobe! <a href="http://youtu.be/9GDbl8AJCaM">http://youtu.be/9GDbl8AJCaM</a></span></span></h4>
</div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-51865163936092689952014-05-22T10:29:00.000-07:002014-05-22T10:32:39.515-07:00Over-Half-way through May.Something <i>may</i> be coming. Before too long.Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-87596384798683002532014-03-02T11:37:00.000-08:002014-03-02T11:37:20.093-08:00Okay, well in March we will definitely do something....Like, how about some apples?Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-31937657160350678542014-02-19T16:09:00.001-08:002014-03-02T11:35:00.995-08:00I have another announcement to make.Nothing new.<br />
Expect something -- maybe -- by the end of the month.<br />
<br />Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-75206814309887350912014-02-05T13:37:00.001-08:002014-02-05T13:37:17.142-08:00Contrary to popular Belief...Contrary to popular belief, <i>The Oaps</i> will remain on this Blog. Rumours about their presence on the Drawing blog have been proven false.<br />
Can you find all the Oaps?Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-81552469739460959142014-02-02T22:27:00.001-08:002014-02-02T22:27:13.007-08:00So, it's been a while since I posted<div style="text-align: center;">
It has been Decided.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The drawings will be done from the drawing blog.</div>
Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-16778816178752076612013-09-05T19:02:00.000-07:002013-09-05T19:02:23.893-07:00NEWS!There is no news.Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-57219162683682116662013-04-27T20:07:00.001-07:002013-04-27T20:16:31.413-07:00Me N' Al<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ueVtlwuw190/UXyRtfqxyLI/AAAAAAAAALc/cWmKzSMlQDo/s1600/511354-ZEWQ.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ueVtlwuw190/UXyRtfqxyLI/AAAAAAAAALc/cWmKzSMlQDo/s320/511354-ZEWQ.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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<span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0]" style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[0]">Me and Al are actually twins. </span><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[1]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[2]">Conversation: </span><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[3]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[4]">Me: Sooo.... you play the accordion, too?</span><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[5]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[6]">Al: Oh, you play the accordion?</span><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[7]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[8]">Me: Well, kinda...</span></span><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3]" style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0"><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[0]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[1]">Al: Well, keep practicing.</span><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[2]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[3]">Me: Thanks!</span><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[4]" /><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[5]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[6]">PS. This was all during about 30 seconds. Oh, I would have said, more... but the Expo doesn't <i>AL</i>low extended conversations. He kinda seemed like he wanted to say more, too... but... there were still hundred(s) of photoopers behind me.</span><br id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[7]" /><span id=".reactRoot[275].[1][4][1]{comment10152822178960341_21008898}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3].0.[8]">His concert was really AWESOME! If you ever get a chance to go to one, take that chance, it's ver energetic! (unless you hate him)</span></span></span><br />
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Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-33753070880948114812013-04-02T15:49:00.000-07:002013-04-02T15:49:01.056-07:00XOAP, YOAP, ZOAP<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-5983291760025842912013-03-16T17:31:00.002-07:002013-03-16T17:31:57.285-07:00WOAP!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Williainthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07740874293674344627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-420215885903531015.post-80577970962393599562013-03-09T08:54:00.001-08:002013-03-09T08:54:03.773-08:00VOAP!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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