Friday, March 6, 2015

IFAQ: Local Emails on Elephants in Saskatchewan

In-Frequently Asked Questions:

Questions you didn't think existed, mattered, or needed a response

  • Q: How often do you use the company Elephant for school's field trips?  
-- Anthony B. Fickleberry, Charcoal Diamond Mine,  BigLongWait, Saskatchewan
  • A: Dear Mr. FickleBerry, I am sorry to inform you that the Company Elephant, Charlie Bacon, broke his leg in a gopher hole last year, and will no longer walk in the school's fields. Now, the gopher is suing us, for damaging it's property. Good grief!

  • Q: How many Questions? 
-- Jimmy age 8, Saskatchewan
  • A: I'm sorry Jimmy, but to answer that you'll need to give me more information; Like, do you mean how many questions in this? How many questions exist in the world? How many questions  you've asked? And along what timeline(s)?

  • Q: How many... hamburgers?
-- Jimmy age 8, Saskatchewan
  • A: Okay, I'll try to answer best I can...  3. 1568^7658. 2 (in this post) 10000342, in your life. 1569002 hamburgers currently exist.

  • Q: What's the meaning of life?
-- Wondering Wanda, Winnipeg, Saskatchewan.

  • A: 42.

  • Q: If Saskatchewan had an NHL hockey team, what would it be called? 
-- The Rouge Rider, Hardtohide, Saskatchewan

  • A: Well, If Saskatoon gets a little bigger, I'd say the "Saskatoon Kartoons". More likely however, it'll be the Saskatchewan (Or Regina) RoughRiders. I'm not sure what the rules are on having a CFL team be the same players, and having the same name as an NHL team...

  • Q: When's the time change, at 2 am, tonight? I want to set my clock at exactly the right time, so my clock is 100% accurate!
-- Professor  Fiddlesticks,  Professor at Large, Regina, Saskatchewan

  • A: Don't worry, Professor; Saskatchewan doesn't believe in time change!

  • Q: How far is it to Mary's house?
-- Amy DeLoused,  Bear Paddle Lake, Saskatchewan

  • A: 10.5 meters.

  • Q: How do I send in my own questions to this revered document?
-- Could B. You, Possibly In, Saskatchewan 

  • A: Send your questions to or, if you feel lucky, . If otherwise mentioned, I WiLL use your email. And possibly make up a fictional place where you came from, like "Saskatchewan".

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